Look: I am eager to learn stuff I don't know--which requires actively courting and posting smart disagreement.

But as you will understand, I don't like to post things that mischaracterize and are aimed to mislead.

-- Brad Delong

Copyright Notice

Everything that appears on this blog is the copyrighted property of somebody. Often, but not always, that somebody is me. For things that are not mine, I either have obtained permission, or claim fair use. Feel free to quote me, but attribute, please. My photos and poetry are dear to my heart, and may not be used without permission. Ditto, my other intellectual property, such as charts and graphs. I'm probably willing to share. Let's talk. Violators will be damned for all eternity to the circle of hell populated by Rosanne Barr, Mrs Miller [look her up], and trombonists who are unable play in tune. You cannot possibly imagine the agony. If you have a question, email me: jazzbumpa@gmail.com. I'll answer when I feel like it. Cheers!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Weekend Funnies

OK.  Here's a joke I made up.

Before a symphony concert, the conductor had a beer to loosen up.  He was crossing the street to the concert hall when he got hit by a beer truck.  He survived, but was in no condition to perform the three scheduled concerts.

There was no time to find a substitute, so the orchestra grabbed a stone statue of a saint from a church down the street and set it on the podium, thinking, "All the conductor does is stand there.  Who cares if he waves his arms."

The next morning, the newspaper review said, "Last night's performance was sub-par.  The music was lifeless and much too heavy."

So they returned the statue, and borrowed the Cigar Store Indian from the tobacconist's shop around the corner, and set it on the pudium. The next morning, the newspaper review said, "Last night's performance was a bit better, but still seemed wooden."

So they snuck into the museum, and lifted a modern abstract copper sculpture, and set it on the podium."  They eagerly read the review the next day.  It said, "Third time must be a charm.  Everything flowed smoothly, and they finally got it all right."

Update:  In fact, the performance was electric!

The moral of the story . . . .

(rim shot)

Copper makes the best conductor.

For more, and hopefully better humor, check Weekend Funnies.


Home School Dad said...

That is a good joke, it seems to be a variation of a joke I used to tell in the eighties about the repeated attempt to electrocute a prisoner.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Hahahahahaha...goes to show...
Greeat joB! Well done!
Original too!
Honestly, Jazz,you tell good jokes,
you are very talented...
Welcome to the Funnies!
See you next week?