Weekend Funnies

OK.  Here's a joke I made up.

Before a symphony concert, the conductor had a beer to loosen up.  He was crossing the street to the concert hall when he got hit by a beer truck.  He survived, but was in no condition to perform the three scheduled concerts.

There was no time to find a substitute, so the orchestra grabbed a stone statue of a saint from a church down the street and set it on the podium, thinking, "All the conductor does is stand there.  Who cares if he waves his arms."

The next morning, the newspaper review said, "Last night's performance was sub-par.  The music was lifeless and much too heavy."

So they returned the statue, and borrowed the Cigar Store Indian from the tobacconist's shop around the corner, and set it on the pudium. The next morning, the newspaper review said, "Last night's performance was a bit better, but still seemed wooden."

So they snuck into the museum, and lifted a modern abstract copper sculpture, and set it on the podium."  They eagerly read the review the next day.  It said, "Third time must be a charm.  Everything flowed smoothly, and they finally got it all right."

Update:  In fact, the performance was electric!

The moral of the story . . . .

(rim shot)

Copper makes the best conductor.

For more, and hopefully better humor, check Weekend Funnies.