What the Hell?!? Friday - Imus-inspired Double-Entendre Edition

I will simply imbed this with no further comment.  Really - what could I add?




H/T to Avg Joe at The Corner.

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Is It Worth it to YOU?

Source:  MaddowBlog

H/T to the LW.
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Utterly Predictaible

Really.

I knew this was going to happen.

H/T to Keiran Healy at C. T.
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Monstrosity

Does this remind anybody else of the Loch Ness Monster?

What the Hell?!? Friday -- Of Boys and Hygiene

An off-line (well, on-line, actually?!?) conversation with Cate (you can call her Cate) of SWS fame got me thinking about my long-ago experience as a Webelos leader.  This started when my son was eight, and joined the Cub Scouts.  I helped coach softball, which is a hoot, 'cause I'm less athletic than the average trombonist.  But, I also became the Webelos leader, since the Pack needed one (and it's easy to talk me into things) with a meeting at my house on Wednesday evenings.  This went on for four years - my house infested with invaded by 11-year-old boys, until my son passed through Webelos, and we moved on to Boy Scouts.

As a result of this ordeal  experience, I know a lot about 11-year-old boys.  The path from cute little baby boy to grown man is long, twisting, and full of pot holes.  One of the deepest and muddiest of these is age 11.  A typical 11-year-old boy is only marginally human, and not at all civilized.   In the absence of diligent parental supervision, he will happily spend that entire year in a cave with a colony of toads, never brushing his teeth, combing his hair, taking a bath, or changing his socks.   I have a clear recollection from my own checkered youth of being sent to wash my hands before dinner one day.  They were literally covered in dirt on all sides.  I carefully washed the palms of my hands, since those are the parts you use to hold the bread and utensils.  I was really quite exasperated with my father when he sent me back with explicit instructions to wash all surfaces of both hands.

I genuinely didn't get it.

This 11-itis-hood is a wonderful, primal, enigmatically feral time of life, if you can avoid major infections.  But, alas, all good things must end.  For many boys, this primitive, idyllic quasi-nirvana pops with the suddenness of a lightning-strike, on the day that they discover GIRLS.  The transformation is a wonder to behold.

It goes more or less like this, usually some time between ages 12 and 30:

Tuesday evening: GIRLS discovered.  In this epiphany, they are revealed as something not yuckie and disgusting, to be avoided at all costs. Frex:
They smell good.
They look . . . interesting.
Their voices - what is it about their voices?
They're -- soft.   Well, probably, I imagine, don't ya think?
When did THEY change?

Wednesday morning (after a night of disturbing, incomprehensible dreams):
Bath taken, hair combed, teeth brushed, fresh underwear and socks donned.
Mirror looked into, for maybe the first time ever.

Several days later: Question pondered:
"Is it worth the trouble of shining my shoes?"
The first of many moral dilemmas.

The actual timing of this metamorphosis is deeply personal.  Possible spectrum runs from as early as eight (very rare) to never. (Unfortunately, not so rare.)

And, as Howard Hughes so capably demonstrated, considerable backsliding is possible at any later phase of life.  This may be why wives are important.

A note on Fate:
Early bloomers can become metrosexuals
Late bloomers can become math or science teachers.

Some are immune.  For the most part, they become chemists and/or engineers.

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Regulation, Regulation, Regulation

It's hard to beat Krugman if you're looking for down to earth reality on any topic he chooses to address.

Those who think that “too big to fail” is the essence of the problem have to explain why Canada, with basically just five banks, has avoided crisis. Those who blame the Fed for keeping interest rates too low too long have to explain why Canada, which basically had the same interest rate experience we did, didn’t have anything like the same problems.


So what’s Canada’s secret? Regulation, regulation, regulation. Much stricter limits on leverage, much stricter limits on unconventional mortgages, and an independent consumer protection agency for borrowers.

(Emphasis added.)

Without regulation, the fox is in charge of the hen house, and - sooner or later - the wolf will be at your door.  It's twue, it's twue.
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Pearl Harbor Remembrance

By George H. W. Bush

• This is Pearl Harbor Day. Forty-seven years ago to this very day, we were hit and hit hard at Pearl Harbor.
  
  
  • Bush addressing the American Legion in Louisville, Kentucky (7 September 1988), three months prior to the actual anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor (7 December 1941).
  
  
  

Not sure this contributes much to the whole nature - nurture question.

But a hat tip to Silbey either way

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Deep Stupid #7

(Updated, 9/22)
Diane Fedele was President of the Chaffey Community Republican Women, Federated.* Their October, 1988 newsletter, in the height of the presidential campaign, included the image of food stamp "Obama Bucks" depicted below the fold. Blind to the stereotypes of fried chicken, ribs, and watermellon, "It was just food to me," stated the culturally tone deaf, irony-challenged Fedele.**

My Real Age

I enjoy the LUANN comic strip, but I never expected it to speak to me personally.

Penguin Playoff Blogging Pt.2 - Revenge of the Zebras

At a certain point, even profanity fails me, so I’ll just ask a few questions

Why does the home town crowd get to call the game?

If the zebras are going to let that happen, then why didn’t they just stay on the game preserve?

Would there be a penalty if there were 7 Penguins on the ice? 8? What does it take?

Why do the announcers on Against keep talking about the “subtle picks and interference” of the Red Wings, but not a word about the blatant obstructions of the Penguins? Or the two-handed cross-checks to the back of the head? Or the goal they score on a off-side play? Or the waved-off icings?

Or the spearing?

Does this game even have rules?

What team did Olczyk coach?

And Milbury loved it when Malkin sucker-punched Zetterberg. Is this what you might expect from a guy whose career stats include 49 goals, and 1552 minutes in the penalty box?

Is the NHL so desperate to hype Crosby as a cup-hoister that they will do anything to let his team win?

I just discovered yesterday was Gary Bettman's birthday. Where did I put my profanity dictionary? And my barf bag?

Talk Me Down, Mickey Redmond

And he does.

Dear Mr. Cheney

Would you please just STFU?

Your lies and delusions are an embarrassment to your party (such as it is) your country (whose most basic principles you have betrayed) and yourself (not that you matter any more, you evil insane blight on the human race.)

Also, what Keith said.

Update:
Also, what The Anonymous Liberal said.

5/25 Update:
Also, what Matthew Alexander said.

More on conservatism

In comment #10 to Krugman's May 19th Blog Post, we find:

I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it. — John Stuart Mill

“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.” –John Kenneth Galbraith

Obviously there is no golden age of conservative “intellectualism.”

— Richard Sattler

Same as it ever was.

“Boy,” he shook his head, “Oh dear.”

Niall Ferguson, speaking for Neocon Economics, thinks that Obama's (overly timid in my view) Keynesian approach to the nation's economic woes is "the Soviet model."

DeLong points out Keynes' view of the Soviet model, in this excerpt (ellipses his) from Keynes' A Short View of Russia.

Vis: "I sympathize with those who seek for something good in Soviet Russia. But when we come to the actual thing what is one to say? For me... Red Russia holds too much which is detestable.... How can I admire a policy which finds a characteristic expression in spending millions to suborn spies in every family and group at home?... How can I accept a doctrine which sets up as its bible, above and beyond criticism, an obsolete text-book [Marx]"
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Interpolated 5/21 Update: One ignorant right-wing meme is that federal spending - a la the stimulus plan - crowds out private sector investment. Krugman explains the reality.
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Those who now call themselves "Conservatives" have nothing. No ethics, no correct (or even sensible) position on any issue, and no knowledge of history or any other aspect of the real world. They do not even have anything that approaches valid conservatism.
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Update (5/20/09 11:11 pm) It's actually "worse than I thought." Other than 4th grade level profanity*, I'm speechless.
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* Nope. Not gonna do it.

I cannot believe what I heard today

Senator Inhofe, of global warming denialist fame*, has on his own Senate website the YouTube video of his pathetic lies, offered from his trip to Afghanistan to an eager American public.

So soon after I go prattling on about the unwisdom of making politically charged statements that are so easy to refute, he serves this up: Obama is gutting the military and endangering the country. Evidently, the good Senator does not read my blog. Maybe it's just because he's busy with his foreign travel.

Well, if a 4% funding increase constitutes a cut, Inhofe does higher math than I can comprehend.

But, of course, his intellectual prowess is -- is . . . uh . . .

Urbino puts it in perspective.
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* Evidently not realizing the difference between climate and weather.

We Are So Screwed

This via Paul Krugman:

Just as stocks were peaking, and poised to tank, the Federal Pension Guarantee Board, under the BRILLIANT governance of the departed but not lamented Shrub administration, switched from bonds only to lots of stocks.

All hail the ownership society!

Mayan, Oh Mayan

Always read the fine print!

Via Buzzfeed

Non-informative Letter from HowWhat

In the mail yesterday came a letter from Bennie's Expresso (delivered by HowWhat.) This is what it said.
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You chose to receive your Qualified Annuity Payment benefit as an annuity payment.* The initial calculation of your benefit was based on the information we had on file about you at that time.

We've recalculated your benefit based on updated information. Please note that these benefit amounts don't reflect deductions, such as tax withholding, healthcare coverage or life insurance.

For more information yadda yadda yadda . . .
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Since they neglected to include any numbers, or a description of what this "update information" might be, my first thought was: "What changed, my months of service, or my date of birth? Whatever it is, I'm about to get screwed."

The new information might be the occurance of my 62nd birthday in December, which changes everything. But, who knows? At this point, I'm guessing.

I'm going to have to call HowWhat, which is probably not going to be helpful. I'm gearing myself up, but it probably won't happen today.

Information abut my February check is still not posted, though March info is. The March statement shows my post-62 regular pension amount plus my pre-62 SERP amount. Clearly, this cannot be correct. I have yet to see the people at HowWhat get anything right.

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* Like, duh