This one is based on a real life experience. The others are not.
FIFTH DAY DOWN
For four straight days I've been flat on my back.
Prospects for tomorrow -- not too bright.
But first I have to face another night
Of nose-runs, insomnia, and cough attack.
Day two they put a needle in my hip,
Pumped in some paste, a substance that is not
The amber liquid I would call a shot:
That lovely Malt, imported in green glass.
When morning comes I'll rise to face tomorrow,
Without a Scottish gift to ease my sorrow,
And if some comely lass of nursely station
Approaches from behind with medication
I'll demurr, and if you get my drift,
If she insists, then I will plead the fifth.
-- Jan. 28, 1999, 11:00 pm
Copyright Jazzbumpa. All rights reserved
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4 comments:
Very brave of you to craft a sonnet; your musicality and sense of rhythm show through your words.
"You did good" as my Dad used to say. Looking forward to your next opus!
BTW, you are truly very funny (sonnet aside). If you ever want to wade into writing humor or get a yen to try a little stand-up comedy, I'd be game to walk you through the paces long distance via email, phone, or whatever. Have had several colleagues/friends give it a go and nearly all of them have kept at it. Dare I say some of 'em have gotten very good at it, and the only credit I take is getting them to take that first shaky step.
BTW, the Rachmaninoff you linked to kept me glued to u-tube for a good half hour. Am dyslexic with numbers and musical notation--not with letters, as much--so my piano teachers kept suggesting I try "another instrument"! Never stopped me from giving it my best shot, and have played in a couple dive bars, sober as a judge, along with a group of equally untalented but enthusiastic musicians. I once got an "award" for, a local paper, as "the worst piano player that we still love to watch"..
Proud of that, here, sorta kind of.
Be well. See you at xw corner.
PJB -
You are too kind. And your offer is very generous. You might think a retired guy has lots of time on his hands and might be able take up a new avocation, but actually, my days are pretty full.
I have a lot of musical things going on, and that uses up most of my creativity, and a lot of my energy. My humor (such as it is) that you see at the Corner is what spouts more or less spontaneously from the recesses of my fevered brain. Some things you can't turn off.
But - seriously - thank you for your offer. If I'm ever in Chicago, I'll buy you a sarsaparilla!
Speaking of courage - playing in dive bars . . . in Chicago . . . now THAT takes some cojones!
Cheers!
JzB the occasionally funny trombonist
JazzB:
You are so right, that spontaneous humor is the best kind. Chicago is very much a divided city: northside vs. Southside, Cubs vs. Sox fans, white vs. African Americans, deep dish lovers vs. thin crust people, beer drinkers versus wine snobs, Irish vs. Poles, the list goes on. And on.
Closer to my world, it's stand up folks vs. improv people. We think improv is lazy, they supposedly think we're uninspired and slow!
The funniest things people say in real life
seem to come out when they're not trying to be funny. The first "funny" thing I'm told I said was as a 4 or 5 year old. Someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I was honest and uninformed, and replied that I wanted to be a nun. Everyone roared. I of course had no idea that this was a bad career choice.
Hardest part of stand up is looking & sounding like you JUST came up with your line, on the spot. Takes practice to sound unrehearsed...sometimes there's magic and you do improvise or polish up a line or two and it really works. Still, I'm glad it's just a hobby, because doing comedy full time is for young people who
are willing and able to work non-stop, and for very little dough. Even some of the SNL writers have second jobs to pay the rent. Or they marry someone rich...
Final note: thanks for the links to music and other blogs. Good stuff. Keep it up.
See you at the xw Corner.
/pjb
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